that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
