no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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