So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize