Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
