ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
