There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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