if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
