They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
