Welp...herpes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
