if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
