wanna go halves on a baby?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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