either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
