You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
