I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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