Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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