Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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