I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
