ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i now understand why vodka
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
