i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
