Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
