I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
