OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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