somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
