I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
