It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
