and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
