Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
