You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize