Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
