Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
