I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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