Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
