if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize