Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
