I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
