I heard we made out
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
