my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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