doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
