if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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