if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
