am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
