A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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