We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
