First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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