I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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