What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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