Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize