Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
