you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize