Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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