Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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