what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
