To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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