I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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