Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
