oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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