K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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