remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
