"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
