Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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