awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
