It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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