just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Boobs are out for the taking
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
