On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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