Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize